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tim_and_tracy's Journal
20 most recent entries

Date:2006-11-28 15:00
Subject:The Loss of a Pressure Cooker

I'm experiencing some feelings of lament. I killed my pressure cooker the other day in a bout of total stupidity. I truly believed that baking potatoes in the cooker could be done without water, and what was I thinking? I looked at a chart called "pressure cooker steaming times" and saw that potatoes were only 13 minutes. So I put the potatoes in the pot without any water, just alone, and thick smoke starts to slowly seep out of the cooker. Tim and I look at each other, and it smells just awful. He tells me that I've done something wrong. We take the pressure cooker off the stove, let it cool down, and then when we open up the lid, our kitchen fills with thick smoke.

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Date:2006-10-24 18:13
Subject:Horse Farm in Weed

There is a delightful horse sanctuary in Weed, right along Stewart Springs Road.

Mt Shasta in view.

Black Butte in view.

see more horsesCollapse )

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Date:2006-10-24 18:02
Subject:More pictures from around our yard

Here are some pictures that Tim took across the street by the train tracks.

Looking South on the train tracks.

Looking North on the train tracks.

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Date:2006-10-24 17:55
Subject:New LJ forum for mind control awareness

I have started a new forum called mcawareness, for mind control information, research and discussion. Every one should look at the entries I have posted, as they are all documented interviews or text that illustrate that trauma based mind control is a reality. Feel free to join the forum to comment and add more information. I am going to continue to post entries from places that I have researched or saved onto my computer. I have numerous documents to share, and it is good to finally have an organized place to do so. GOOD LUCK LEARNING ABOUT THE TRUTH! - Tracy


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Date:2006-10-19 18:53
Subject:Does anyone know what Habeas Corpus is?

I did'nt think so! But, you may have your mind blown after watching this video clip:


Yep, it's official. Your right to a fair trial has now been eliminated.

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Date:2006-10-17 09:47
Subject:My cats in the bathroom

Here are some pictures of my cats. Cyprus is the siamese cat, and Belle is the tuxedo.

They are trying to see out the tiny bathroom window!

see the silly catsCollapse )

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Date:2006-10-17 09:32
Subject:Panther Meadows

We went up to Panther Meadows on Saturday. I fell in the marsh, so we did not stay too long!

Wet meadow!

I would like to see more of the meadowCollapse )

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Date:2006-10-12 18:53
Subject:No longer living in an urban area

It is odd to me to recollect that yes, we used to live in a heavily crowded urban area. NOW IT IS PAST TENSE! You see! Now it is past tense. Now I just think about what it was like. How crazy it was. How we could rush out of the house and buy something, really anything, and come home afterwards. Or go back out. Go to a live music show, or get food to eat. All of those things are 'activities' that we have let go to the wayside. Now we cook with our own pots and pans, and pay with our own money for the food that we eat. Now we find local farmers who supply the cheapest produce we have ever had. Now things are starting to pick up for us. Things are starting to pick up!

My new job starts on Monday and I am a new, welcomed, staff member. For the first time, starting next week, since 2005, Tim and I will both be working, at the same time, in reasonable jobs. No nude modeling, no crazy cafe's, no desperation. Just calm acceptance that grows with time. Accepting the beautiful area we live in, and learning to love it. Loving never returning to the crazy city, and loving finding new things to do.

Go for a hike along the river, or along a mountain crest, or deep into the woods. So many choices, and we never had a choice for where to go for a walk before. Now there are so many, that we sometimes just stare at the map in imagination. It is so great to be away from the city! We get to see animals every day! Horses across the street, donkeys down the road, and cows all over! Big long horned bulls, sheep, goats, it's great. As a vegan we get to smile and truly appreciate their splendor.

I can't believe that people still live in such demeaning situations. I only hope that they can make it work for themselves. But I know the truth. The city is a large set of class struggles. From the lowest common people, who sleep on the streets, to the unemployed kids stealing things to sell for money. I am glad to be miles away from all of it!


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Date:2006-10-09 11:25
Subject:Oakland Memories

I have many vivid memories that keep me awake. Especially awake when I have a few hours between having to be awake, and there they are, the memories. Some are so sweet and familiar that I cannot deny their validity. While others remain rancid in my mouth, hard to remember exactly how they started, where they came from. I remember some distinct things, I lived in Oakland for four years, before moving and then returning.

My Oakland memories come in through bus windows. All of a sudden I remember the interior of a specific street, Broadway. One long intersection that runs along many bus routes. I knew this area well, and happened upon it several times a week. There were several car dealer lots , along with a huge hospital that spanned about four or five blocks. I used the hospital a few times as a free public bathroom. Across from Broadway, is Piedmont, slightly more upclass, with more diverse restaurants. There’s the Bay Wolf, which I also only visited once. My teacher employer took me there and smiled, flirted with me over small, elegant salads. A waiter who was well dressed served us, and as always there were scarce vegetarian options. Also on Piedmont, a few great cheap places to eat. The greatest Indian restaurant in Oakland, Raj - Kerry House, always served a feast of savory spices. We often went to Raj and ordered take out, and took several cardboard boxes home to eat the feast for days.

Broadway passes through the edge of Oakland, and the beginning of Rockridge. The slightly more upper class neighborhood, a few blocks from the dirt and gruff of Oakland’s border. For a few months I spent my hours working in a fine coffee shop, Peaberry’s. This was perhaps one of the finest coffee shops that I had the experience to work in. My other coworkers were hip young kids, who together with myself learned everything we could about coffee. We were assigned tests that graded our behavior, as well as tours to the local roasting company in Emeryville. I made a few friends, who together we worked quickly fufilling the rush of customer orders. Latte’s, espressos, cappucinnos, as many as was requested, we worked together to complete each transaction in a methodical way. One person on the register, another person on the espresso machine, and another cleaning the dishes as they came. Several of the customers lived in the area, and would casually leave their six bedroom houses to come in for a refreshing cup of joe.

I would ride the bus down Broadway, early in the morning, just before the sun had officially risen. I would leave my apartment at 14th and MacArthur, and it took about twenty minutes to circle around the Grand Lake area, pass the rows of houses on Coolidge, and onward to Broadway. Broadway was rows of car dealer lots, as well as many vacant lots. Each had their own air of mystery, as they were abandoned, with windows that told no story of their history. A huge technical high school that always had rowdy students filing off the bus for. The architecture more stoic than anything else in the area, big women’s clothing, Subway sandwich shops, and the strange empty Dave’s restaurant, I never saw it open, ever. The bus roared down the street, and then curved its way to Rockridge, where classy restaurants filed the edges of both street sides. More burrito shops, pizza shops, Japanese restaurants, yoga spots, etc. Once you were in Rockridge, there were several clothing shops offering boutique items four times their original price.

Each different sub part of Oakland was unique, original unto itself. There was especially, so much activity, that in the mix of it all, anyone could hide and do exactly what they wanted. Whether to shop and buy as much as possible, or to hide beneath the cracks in an apartment, barely living enough to pay the rent. In a sense, this was a glorious thing, because every where there was someone who had totally different circumstances than you, and everyone was competing just as much, in line, on the streets, wherever.

Now that I do not live in such a city, I can remember each detail of the vibrant city easily. In contrast, I live in Northern California now, where there are tall trees everywhere. The sounds in the distance are of the trains on the railroad passing Mt Shasta, and quails or other birds chatting their songs. I remember, in Oakland, I actually checked to see how frequently sirens passed. And less than one every thirty minutes, would pass through the streets, bleeting and blailing its horrible oscilliating tune.

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Date:2006-10-09 11:19
Subject:End of the World Store poem

The End of the World Store

There really is no choice
people want to talk as if there is such a thing as reincarnation
but really all of life is just repeating unfairness
over and over and over and over
children are beaten, tortured, killed, molested and their parents do not even know
what has happened

and women who can afford it spend all of their money on luxurious fashion
men take lewd photographs of women in humiliating positions
and tell them that they will pay them but instead rape them and torture them, and tell them to forget that it ever happened
how can there be this? How can people act in these ways?

It happens daily, and the lack of care spreads into every act and motion
products are distributed with full intent to harm and people do not know
they consider the value at their cost and forget to inform themselves
that danger awaits around every corner
all the toxicity in the world is already present in a bottle of ammonia underneath the kitchen sink
and everything could change if you just poured some of that bottle in your mouth
what are you waiting for?

There is really no choice at all
we want to believe that there is, but instead it is a circumstance
that makes one believe that choice is indeed evident
like a girl that is abused by her father her entire life
and a father who is indebted with guilt and pays highly for his daughter’s recovery
he does not tell her that he abused her, and she does not remember that he abused her
and she enjoys the money that he gives to her
and spends it on looking good, feeling good, and doing what she wants
many men that see her all think she looks very beautiful, and they dream of raping her
humiliating her
and ripping the jewelry off her neck
and selling it to a pawn shop so that they could afford a month of rent
instead of living on the streets

How could this happen? This is our world
our world that we have been told is earnest to help guide us
shape us into being, understanding, resourceful humans
no, instead many are left helpless, not knowing any better and are humiliated by the shame they are placed into
without a choice to change their situation, with extremely damaging fear of poverty
wanting money desperately enough to trust that violence makes the most sense

Because violent youths could get away with intimidation and robbery
and afford themselves some excitement, and some cash
that they were unable to create at all, because their parents were also frustrated with the poverty
and abused their children hoping to encourage them
to find some work for the family
and the family has no idea that the money comes from cruelty or mistreating others
they only know that cruelty has begot them their fate
and cruelty has begot their children their fate

and there is no choice, no reincarnated souls to shout to you
this is the life that you live while you are poor
this is the life that you live while you are victimized
this is the life of opulence you have been waiting for, for centuries on

Instead there is the confusion that places our world in orbit
constantly spinning and constantly threatening to change its position
as individuals, we are trapped in the charade of the earth’s spinning in rotation
we cannot see that if the world just stopped it could provide relief to this cycle of degradation

Instead people are so engrossed by the immediacy of everything, that if a storefront was built
with the name, End of the World
everyone would flood the aisles and look around the shelves,
gazing at all of the items that tell them directly, the End of the World is here
the End of the World is a shop selling everything that anyone can dream of
poison takes the form of soothing lotions and candy is laced with speed and antidepressants
everyone is enamored with everything, and they absolutely love that they have a choice
to shop at the End of the World store.

- composed by Tracy in August '06.

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Date:2006-10-03 20:15
Subject:Letter to an old friend

This is a letter I just sent to an old friend. I cannot believe that I am finding old friends from my life on myspace. I called it the virtual yearbook, and it is a crazy thing. I do not like it very much, but all the same it's great to see that my old friends are doing well. I know that I link to this webpage and I want to share this letter, because it is a good summary for anyone who sees, to get an idea about what has been happening these past few years in our life. I talk in detail about a lot of these things, and could actually post more entries in detail about a lot of these experiences. Ultimately, I want to eventually bind my own books and send them out to friends around the world. Hopefully I will do just that after successfully teaching a papermaking and bookbinding class this coming Spring. (Anyone got any pointers?)

Here it is:

Tim and I have been living in this amazingly crumby apartment, and it's like a time warp living here. We could not stand it when we moved in, and we could not find anywhere else at the same time. So we moved into this place, and it's-- it's like Russia. One example is the bathroom. On first initial look, it has a large tub and is in a long and wide room. On second look, the john is in the corner of the room, and is in a cramped location between the cupboard. The cupboard is really just a "house" for the pipes. The shower curtain head broke and drips a slow drain that floods the tub around our ankles every shower. GROSS!

The stove also is not working, so we have been living out of cereal boxes and cooking things on our camping stove. Lots of boiled noodles, but it's made us a little crazy. We have left the apartment with clothes scattered everywhere, and stuff all over, and there is actually only one place to sit in this two bedroom apartment.

We are waiting to move into a place that is wonderful. It is in the middle of an alfalfa farm, in a small rural town less than 400. It's great. The farmer who lives next door is our land lord and he is going to grow a garden for us in the spring. AWESOME!

We, meaning, Tim and myself, have been dating since 2003. We met while both attending Mills College, in Oakland, California. We decided to take this insane trip to the United Kingdom in a work exchange program, but were unable to ever contact the exchange program. Wasting lots of money on room and board and cheap street food, which was expensive because the pound rate was double the dollar. What a goofy idea for two kids just graduating school. At the time we were entirely idealistic about everything. We had read enough about the world to understand that there was another layer of truth that was'nt disclosed in everyday society. We thought travelling would be good for us, and we thought at that period that psychics were reliable sources of information. Now, we thankfully know better. But it took a great journey of travelling to another country and never becoming employed, bumming around and wasting lots of money. We decided we ought to go to Amsterdam and waste more money, it was all our parent's credit at that point. So we did, and boy was that different! I dream of going back, and I think every day of the people that live there and enjoy their residency.

When I consider travelling though, I now really want to go to a place entirely different. I have become fascinated with vegan food and would love to go to a country that works with the soybean in an innovative way. What a way to study a subject! But I wish! I would love to go to Indonesia and study tempeh as well. I have considered the Peace Corps, but I am confused as to what the real aim of that organization is all about. Tim and I could actually go together as a married couple, but we are just considering it right now. Considering, we are reading other peace corps volunteer stories from the internet. They're pretty interesting, and I always like reading a good story. But these stories are just a few pages each in an anthology, so it's just enough to wet your tongue. Make you really want to have the experience, you know! It also has stated a few times that Peace Corps members would help innoculate children, and I do not know if I morally agree with such concepts. Do I feel like engaging that morality?

Right now I am working the first steady job I've had since I graduated college in 2004. We spent that year, 2005 recovering from the goofy trip that we decided to take. We were in debt to our parents and ended up living in Oakland again. Could not find any work at all, and ended up taking very low paying, mediocre wage work. I discuss some of this in more detail in other journal entries. Needless to say, we were put into unfortunate situations so many times that we decided, enough was enough. We have to move. We have to move. We hated Oakland so much. So much about it was a ruthless, ghetto town. Joakland. It was huge, sprawling, and we drove every day for an hour to go to the 'park' that was in the woods above the city centre. Oakland is not even that big, but it is part of the huge sprawl of the Bay Area, which, though it is full of much hustle and bustle, is entirely huge. Is entirely full of deception as much as any other town, but with more outlets for it, in every fashion. It's unbelievable to even recall it, to tell other people about it, especially around here, living in rural Siskiyou County.

So we moved to this beautiful, remote county that is full of mostly retired citizens. There were barely any jobs offered, but we applied to work at the local community college, and after months of no response, we eventually both were hired. I started as an Upward Bound tutor and instructor for a study skills class. That was the highest wage I ever received (25/hour) but I only had 8 classes. I then was hired as a tutor again, and office assistant, with a low wage of (6.75). Tim is working as a computer lab assistant, and also has been offered to teach some intro to computer classes. Mostly seniors enroll in these classes. This is a good thing for Tim. Working at the college will be good on our resumes. Our previous past of unemployment, of quitting job after job. These jobs really dehumanized us, and why should we let that happen?

We have been extremely busy with working, so we have not been able to go out as often as we would like. We both are deep friends, who have gone through a lot together. We are trying to balance it all out, and live peacefully in the country.

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Date:2006-09-25 16:07
Subject:Drive Along Scott River

We decided to see where the Marble Mountain Wilderness started, so we drove along the Scott River and checked out the campsites and scenery. Where we ventured into was just the first square on a map, full of wide open wilderness, many hidden lakes and trail heads.

First stop along the river.

drive along the river with usCollapse )

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Date:2006-09-25 15:43
Subject:Hike to Horse Camp from Bunny Flat

We hiked up Mt Shasta from Bunny Flat trailhead to Horse Camp, starting at 6950 elevation and going up to 8000.

Here is the start of the trailhead.

climb Mt Shasta with usCollapse )

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Date:2006-09-15 10:16
Subject:News of our life

We have moved to Yreka. My colleague calls it Y-hicka which is appropriate. The place we moved into is an expensive two bedroom apartment, in a house from 1899. The water tastes rusty, and the bath tub clogs whenever we shower. Almost all of the windows have cracks, and it is cold in the evening. It took us a few weeks to find another place, but we are moving to a 'mobile' home in Grenada. It is actually quite nice, in the middle of a field of alfalfa. The landlord is a farmer, and he will help us start our own farm when the time is right. The house was destroyed by the previous tenants, but the landlord is going to fix it up for us. It is very beautiful, remote and quiet. No neighbors around, just lots of grass.

My boss Renata spent a full hour and a half talking with me about setting up a 'papermaking' and bookbinding class. She is taking me seriously, and I am really excited about being in charge of a creative endeavor. I have enjoyed working with COS, however, it is the teaching aspect that I am most motivated about. My office job aspect is rediculously boring, and the tutoring part / teaching part is amazingly complex and dynamic.

Renata also agrees that I should go to graduate school, and I just expressed my concern about financial aid. This is always my concern. I have looked into Cal State schools which are less expensive, though I may be able to qualify for a transfer program to South Oregon University. We shall see!

The papermaking class has got me really excited. It is going to be based on using organic materials, from our surroundings. Making paper and notecards, using pressed flowers, food and found materials. I also will be able to teach book binding, which could even be a profitable business for me to sell handmade paper journals at the local art store. And these would just be my demonstration items!

We have been both so busy with working it is quite crazy! Upward Bound has asked me to tutor Etna High students one day a week. Which I can do, but it is 50 miles away! The commute is paid for, and the wage is twice as much as I make in the office. UB states that starting in December it could turn into a twenty hour position. I hope so!

We are hopefully going to get a good camera so we can post amazingly clear pictures of the area. The home in Grenada is close to the burro farm that we love. We get to drive past them every time we leave the house! How neat is that! We want to take close ups of their big soft ears and pleasant faces!

So cute!


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Date:2006-08-09 17:06
Subject:McCloud Waterfalls

We drove up the 89 to McCloud and checked out some local waterfalls. This one is relatively small at 50 feet. We hope to see some larger ones soon, but thought that this waterfall was still beautiful to take pictures of. The air was very misty and there were green lilly pads in the water along the river.

see the waterfallCollapse )

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Date:2006-07-04 10:33
Subject:Shasta Valley Wildlife Area

We didn't want to go too far, being that it was July 3rd and there was much traffic on the road. Lots of camper vans going down the windy highways, off to a good weekend. We looked on the map and decided to drive past historic Montague to the Shasta Valley Wildlife Area. There was beautiful long green grass that was about three feet tall.

We first crossed over this bridge to enter the area. There was a swamp that circled the path, with lots of dragonflys that had checkerboard patterns on their wings, black and white. Loud to be near, amazing to see.

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Date:2006-06-14 18:30
Subject:Walking through the burnt forest

What happened here? When we moved to Weed we saw a huge blaze of smoke in the distance, that weekend. We saw in the paper that about 40,000 acres suffered from the brush fire. About three months have passed now and we drove to the forest and took pictures of the beautiful green growth. The soil was very soft to walk on and all around the tall trees were charcoal black.

Here is a little closer up image of these tall yellow flowers growing like weeds.

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Date:2006-06-14 11:44
Subject:Pictures of our walks in the Klamath Forest

We thought these plants looked like ditch weed!

I rotated the camera around the area to give the readers an idea of how scenic it is, and feels like it is. We walked about a mile into the forest, could no longer hear the highway noise, and walked above a volcanic rock covered hill and then took these pictures.

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Date:2006-06-08 15:55
Subject:Stop along the Highway 97

Today we drove along the 97 and stopped at the place where we previously saw the many rows of lupine. Last time we were here, the lupine smelled delightful, like sweet grapes in the air. Today the lupine were shedding their last purple petals, and other flowers dotted the hillside. Beautiful red ones, golden poppies, thistle, and some others. We took pictures of these flowers as we ascended further than before to the peak of the mountainside. The top of the mountain was covered in quartz. As we walked around we picked up beautiful shiny pink, orange and white quartz. As we looked at the stones, they had a sparkle in them reflecting the sun. Enjoy the pictures.

This white flower amazed me, I would call it a very large dandelion. This was stunning to see on the hillside.

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Date:2006-05-30 13:32
Subject:Whaleback Mountain climb

We read in an old California Hiking book that it was easy to hike to the summit of the nearby mountain, the Whaleback. So we drove to Deer Mountain Road, and up to 44N24 the logging road, and left our car. We thought it was a mere 1.5 miles to the summit, which is apparently, really a large crater. We walked for about 3 miles and still did not reach the top. The higher in elevation that we walked, the more snow was on the ground, and it was hard to not get our shoes totally drenched. We followed the length of the logging road for as long as we could, then turned around and took pictures walking back down the hill. Enjoy!

This was taken at the start of our walk, you can see the mountain covered with snow, we walked quite a bit up it.

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